Pushing your colons to the limits

Here's how you work those stomach muscles over the weekend!

Step 1: Saturday Lunch Buffet at the Paramount



Head down to East Coast and indulge in a 50-over course Ala Carte Cantonese buffet. Eat like there's no tomorrow (or dinner). Devour salmon sashimi, sauteed scallops, poached prawns and stuff you know cost an arm and a leg in the markets. Discover the heavenly wonders of Claypot "San Bei" Sliced Ostrich Meat. Order another 2 pots. Down everything with 2 bowls of Herbal "Turtle Shell" Jelly served with honey.

Step 2: Hungry Ghost Auction Dinner (same day)

Can't they auction in Cantonese?

Agree to attend father-in-law's annual hungry ghost dinner. Immerse yourself in the dizzy world of Hokkien auctioning. Stuff yourself with strange concoctions passing off as decent Chinese food. Forget what happened at 12 noon. Imagine yourself as the highest bidder for a few sacks of rice. Drink plenty of Miranda Orange to cover up consistent weird aftertaste.

Step 3: Yong Siang Yong Tau Foo for Lunch on Sunday

The Legend

Forget about what went in the day before. Lust after favourite food not eaten in months. Head down to People's Park Complex without hesitation, despite putting beloved Manny through dingy carpark. Ignore 10-metre long queue. Buy 3 bowls for 2 mouths. Gnaw away.

Approaching the Oasis

3-hit Combo

Step 4: Wife's Home-cooked Porridge for Dinner

Think detox. Think liquid rice. Unwittingly overload congee with beef balls, cai xin, pork cubes and can peanuts. End up bloated instead.

And I get people telling us we don't eat enough.